Childhood was pretty rough. Until I was 10 years old I thought my name was ‘stupid.’ My father used to beat the hell out of me. I was the second oldest and he was my step-father, but of course I didn’t find that out until I was about 10…everything seemed to go downhill from there.
I had 2 other brothers and 2 sisters from my biological father who died when I was 5 years old and then my step father came along and we had 5 more. Because I was the second to the oldest and the oldest male, I was the ‘chosen’ one to take care of my brothers and sisters when my parents were working. And you know I’m not an octopus, I can’t control all of them….but I’d get the hell beat out of me if they acted up. Belts, slats off the bottom of the beds, switches he made to cut, fists. But I did pretty well in school. They tested my IQ at 133, but I don’t know whether it was ADD or what. They’d give me school work, I’d take it home, read it through, and by the time I went to class I was ready for the next lesson. But the school wasn’t built like that. My psychiatrist said that the school wasn’t keeping pace with my intelligence. So I started skipping school and doing little dumb things.”
“I got married in ‘84 and of course I was in and out of jail with driving charges. I don’t know what that girl ever saw in me…you couldn’t tell her anything bad about me. She’d say ‘if he wants me to know something, he’ll tell me.’ Anyway, I didn’t deserve that girl. I was in jail serving three years for driving charges and she was trying to go to Germanna and holding down a job at the same time…it just got too much for her- she fell asleep at the wheel and died 1988. I haven’t been with a woman since. I loved her a lot, but you couldn’t tell it by the way I acted.”
“If someone didn’t know me, I’d want them to know that I’m looking for a job, not looking for a handout. It’s been said once, I forget who said it…’the Character of a man is not what he does when you’re looking at him, it’s what he does when you’re not looking at him.’ And that’s the man I am now. My character has completely changed…of course with the help of some medications, Micah, and my greater support system I’m doin okay. The medications allow me to see the person that I really am. Of course there are people who look back and see my record and they say ‘that’s not you’…well, guess what…that wasn’t me and I don’t know who that was compared to the guy I am now. It’s not the guy I really was deep down and it’s not the guy I am now. It’s just that I had to release it and let it go.”
Carth became homeless in 2010 and was housed by Micah in January of this year. He currently is serving at Micah’s hospitality center every day and is participating in Micah’s work program as he looks for full-time electrical work. Here is what he has to say:
“Faith is what’s got me to this point now. I believe, like everybody knows, that God gives me what I need, not what I say I want. But I believe that if you pray every day you may not get the life you want, but it’s a tolerable life and you just have to keep believing no matter what. My friend said ‘Keep the faith because the devil can’t cross the blood of Jesus.’ Without belief, without that faith-we’re stuck in a rut. We’re dooming ourselves. Without the Lord, without just believing….I don’t know….it’s got to work, because I’m proof of it! Without believing I wouldn’t have found Micah. God’s been sustaining me every day. I say this prayer every day as I walk down the street. ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ Every day no matter where I’m walking it’s my thought in my head and it gets me through.”